You must have always heard this from your parents in your childhood, “when you would become a parent you will know how it feels’’. Exactly, I can relate now what my parents must have felt in any of the circumstances that made them say this.
On and off lately we have been hearing of suicidal and criminal cases where young generation is involved. Children just get carried away easily by their feelings of destruction. They are so shattered and frustrated with life that they don’t even know why are they harming themselves and others.
We expect so much from life that we become selfish to consider the feelings of our loved ones and people around us. For some life has become a game which has no value. “It’s my life, I can do whatever I want to”, is the cliché which comes from most of us.
Parents too have become so busy with their work and social life, that they hardly can find enough time to talk & play with their kids. The way toddlers want our care & attention; even teenagers want that dedication from us to understand their issues, dreams & aspirations.
We can’t blame parents alone as life has becoming very challenging for parents. They have huge career demands and being successful is what they want not for themselves but their family, to provide them with best of amenities. With scorching prices & trend for luxurious lifestyles, both the parents need to earn. Even the basic education has not remained modest anymore. Providing paramount schooling gives a big blow on your budget. With so much of constant worry parents too need a break and it’s a must for them to enjoy their social life. During holidays they do their best to focus on their children & house.
So children, work, friends and house all jumble up to become part of a parent’s life. Managing one might lead to ignoring the other, which is very natural human tendency.
When children are small they want to play and be with their parents all the time. When they pass the toddler age they demand to be with friends and play in group. As they become teenagers, they just want to be left alone and form a cocoon of friend cluster. This circle is so secure that they don’t provide even a hint to their parents about their on goings. All might not be the same, some might share daily updates about their friends, new friends, college happenings, parties, etc., but still refrain from involving elders in their personal life.
With mobile/smartphones becoming an important gadget in everyone’s life, children at a young age are exposed to lot of information which they certainly don’t need. It’s good & bad in ways depending on how one utilized this information. Games & apps are taking away precious moments which otherwise could be used to develop emotional well-being, the same can be boosted when one spends time with family.
There is always a conflict among these 2 extreme yet close people for choices & opinions. A kid as small as 4 year old wants to do things his/her way . So pointing at someone who is nearing adolescent for walking on the path they choose which is not going to harm them but might be a slow start, isn’t offending or opposing!
Let them decide. Let them fall & rise.
Let them make friends & befriend the unwanted ones
Let them see the world.
Be their strength not their support.
Be their voice not their opinion.
Don’t just be their parent, be their friend too.
An hour chat in the night before saying goodnight and discussing about each other’s day spent, is preparing them to gain trust in you.
Remember when children feel better they behave better.
Children must also understand that parents will stop and ask, why, where, what & how. It’s not their right as they gave you birth & took care of you throughout with their sweat but it’s their love & care for you that concerns them of their hearts & twinkle of their eyes falling into trouble. I believe in one thing, kids who listen & understand the presages of their parents for a particular situation are always saved from trouble & hardships.
If you expect them to listen, give an ear too
The greys have come from experience, do not challenge it
They have outgrown the age for suggestions & intimidating.
Lend your arms to hold them walk through their old age.
They just want you to be happy, keep them smiling too.
If you fail, tell them. If you succeed celebrate with them.
Coax them to sit with you before winding up for the day and discuss your routine, problems & worries.
Sharing is caring not only in kind but thoughts too.
Harming yourself or others will not do good to either! Life is not short to expect everything in a snap. There will be many opportunities to prove yourself. There is always a tomorrow and it will be merrier than today. Respect elders, society, friends & people around you who have contributed in your upbringing.
But first respect yourself as an individual whose life is worthy and important for this universe!
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Kindly note. The views expressed is of the author based on experience and observations.